BMW vs. Ferrari?

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I own a Mazda, 1988. It cost me $200.I can not claim to know a lot about cars – especially cars that require debt for the average person to own.

My Mazda bears no resemblance to a BMW or a Ferrari and does not even vaguely enter the league of comparison.

I do, however, know a lot about dogs and would like to apply this knowledge to my comparison of these cars. The BMW is a German Shepherd, a German – based car manufacturer. The Shepherd is a beautiful dog, aesthetically ideal. Soft around the edges, comfortable to snuggle into, and safe. Safe for the children, safe in the park and safe in the home. They are powerful and a breed that needs to be respected. The BMW has a lot of grunt, technological advantages and much prestige but it’s reputation is based around the comfort of the driver and passengers. It is a luxury vehicle… and a safe one too. Ironically enough, both the BMW and the German Shepherd are commonly seen in the richer areas of my home city as one is used to protect the other.

The Ferrari is recognized mainly for its racing reputation and therefore I see the Bracco as the pup of comparison. It’s an Italian dog, often with its tail docked, it has smooth body lines and a lot of speed and stamina. It is used for hunting which makes my comparison strangely relevant. Although it is priced like a luxury vehicle, the Ferrari is not known for it’s comfort. It’s known for it’s speed, a sports car – often red – and often associated with mid life crisis and small penises.

The BMW screams “I have money”, whereas the Ferrari hollers “I have too much money”. The BMW is for the working class who have been successful and wish to reward themselves with comfort. The Ferrari is of acquired wealth: school babies whose daddies can’t say no, middle aged men whose wealthy aunt just passed away and left them with squillions to fry. The Ferrari is a car to state opulence whereas a BMW is a car that recognizes an effort well rewarded. To further the argument a German Shepherd is an even-tempered dog that you can trust with your children. It’s no mutt and is of a pure bloodline. It is noble and loyal. The Bracco is a bit unpredictable, you can never be quite sure if it’s coming or going. If it’s running to jump in your lap for a cuddle or about to rip your face off.

All in all, both of these vehicles (and dogs) have their merits and disadvantages. For an uneducated car critic, like myself, it seems prudent that I tuck my tail between my legs and settle on in to the ripped seats and crackling stereo of my pound puppy Mazda. It’s a good friend and companion and it saves me from debt.

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