An 82 year old man set off on London’s orbital motorway, the M25, to make a one hour journey to visit his daughter. He was driving his Vauxhall Astra.
30 hours of driving later he still had not made it – and police were on his case trying to find him. How could such a thing happen? As ever, Jeremy Clarkson is the man to turn to on motoring matters.
First, let’s say the man was eventually located by police, safe and well, and has finally linked up with his daughter. At 82 he had quite an adventure, maybe it was more of an adventure than anyone knows.
When Jeremy Clarkson is asked to review a Vauxhall he says he does so “With a shoulder sagging sigh . . . here we go again.”
But with the Astra he says it looked attractive, aggressive, almost a car to pull in. First clue there.
He carried on to say this was the first Vauxhall he’s driven in 15 years that handled properly. The engine was a joy, big torque for snappy response. Perfect for relaxed motorway cruising.
Ah, so that’s why the pensioner took 30 hours for a one hour journey, he was so relaxed. Perhaps not.
Because Clarkson goes on to say the dash had white dials, to match your girlfriend’s shoes.
Now why would your girlfriend have her shoes, on your . . . dashboard?
Ah, so that’s why he took 30 hours. And made a couple of long stops in Motorway service stations. Well, at 82 you can’t always have a . . . snappy response.
But still, all’s well that ends well.