New Harley Davidson Runs on Potatoes

New Harley Davidson Runs On Potatoes

Green geeks will spaz max when they see the new 2011 90 cc V-Twin Water-Cooled Harley Davidson “Green Machine”, guaranteed to carry your 45 kilo frame 50 klicks to work and back at 50 kph, on four potatoes a day.

(For my fellow Americans, that means you weigh about a buck and you are putting along at 31 mph 31 miles each way, on one Idaho potato a day)

For our more “portly” geeks we have the 150 cc Harley with a ten potato clip, 2 litre tank, fatty tires.

“Ape Hangers” handlebars are almost required equipment on this “Limited” edition Harley Green Machine with Computer Guided Automatic Transmission /Reverse Gear Camera/ Gyroscopic Parker, in any color metal flake paint, as long as it is this really funky green they bought a real lot of.  (Optional:  a “primer” look is very hunk.)  There is a cool “mamma” seat, perfect for holding your books and oboe.

The Technology is old, consisting of a “potato”, some “copper wire”, and a “Harley Davidson”.

The copper wire is made of copper, in wire form, which means that it’s much longer than it is thick, and color coded in colored plastic coating of different colors, so as to adhere to color coding standards everywhere there is a union.

The gasoline is held in a “tank”, which, in spite of its name, doesn’t have a turret or caterpillar treads.

“You use the gasoline part of this… thing to get you up to speed.  After you hit optimal speed, the potato chips in.”

The potatoes are inserted into the “Clip” which holds the potatoes.  The “Clip” is a hard plastic case with lots of color coded copper wires running to and fro.  The potatoes are spring loaded and biased North.  Southern Biasing is available for rednecks.  Once biased, the system is cocked with a spring loaded cocking mechanism, quit giggling.

 “The energy in the potato can be likened to the energy at Hiroshima, only different!” hinted “Smasher” Epstein, geek 98 pound green motorcycle salesman.  Chuckling further:  “If you kick start this thing wrong, it’ll go up like an m-80!”

And kick start you will, as there is no “electric starter”, “Lights”, “Horn” or any other electric-eating bells and whistles.  The sleek masculine design eschews any girly accoutrements, like shocks and, in our “country squire” model, front brakes and rubber tires.

The electrical system is replaced by the potato magazine, which, as every elementary school science project researcher knows, was the electronics of the ancient Egyptians, for crisake, and “generates” actual voltage, which can be measured, if you know how to do that.

“Once this thing is running, it is drivable, and once it’s drivable, you can call it a vehicle.”  Were some of the accolades expected to be coming soon from many many satisfied customers worldwide.

“The Potato acts as a Fuse and magneto, battery and capacitor, ballast and float, electric motor and generator, and lastly, speakers and a  Mr. Potato Head base, which only complicates matters, but can be somewhat ameliorated by wiring a burger and maybe an iced drink into the circuit.” reports Sting O’Rarr of Rolling Stoned Magazine, in its Organic Vehicles edition, last Walpurgis Night.

“If you wire these potatoes in series parallel instead of parallel series you will have home fries, so make sure the”  and that’s about all we got when our potato battery ran out during the interview with Rolls Canardly, Head Technician of the Harlee Worx, misspelled center of cutting edge green motorcycle science.

“The T-Shirts are the best!” rhapsodized the T-Shirt Company salesperson, sitting in his lonely booth in the far corner, next to the “A” shirts, which also claimed to be best .
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For those old school types that like big bikes, we suggest you drag your knuckles to the 10,000cc Hoggg, which not only needs three gallons of gasoline per mile, but sounds like the battle to sink the Bismarck going down the street.  This sucker will pass anything but a gas station.  

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http://www.triond.com/users/LewSethics

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http://musicouch.com/instruments/string/charlie-daniels-hell-on-violins/

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http://scienceray.com/earth-sciences/paleontology/evolutionary-dead-end-the-sabre-toothed-tyrannosaurus-rex/

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http://authspot.com/poetry/the-doom/

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