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Cat and Dog Diaries

Cat and Dog Diaries

This has been floating around online for a while now, and I wanted to share it here. Anyone who has had a cat or a dog will understand exactly what it is all about.

Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!!

12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!!

5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!!

8:00 pm – OMG wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the people bed! My favorite thing!

Cat’s Diary

Day 283 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed nothing but hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength so that I may keep going…

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Cruel bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

I was almost successful today in my attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog constantly receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be not only willing but eager to return. He is obviously retarded. Perhaps they lobotomised him. Am I to suffer the same demented fate as a warning to others?

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards frequently. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

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One Response and Counting...

  1. Eiddwen Jones

    May 17, 2012

    I truly loved this one;take care and I look forward to so many more by you.

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